Even though I agree with the old adage that says “Age does not matter”, I have still seen many individuals’ egos shrink as they grow older. There is an internal belief especially among this age group that dating seems to be only for the young. Now is the time to assert ourselves and say that this should not be the case. This stereotype which has seemingly been inherited from time immemorial has marked a belief that the idea of dating is somewhat taboo as you age.
Can I still be a part of the dating world? Who should I date? For women the questions are often, should I always look for someone older? How would I deal with somebody who is maybe 5 to 10 years my junior? What will others think if I dated someone much younger that I? And the list goes on and on. So many questions arise among those 50 plus and most of them have something to do with a common factor – age.
To start things off, we have to admit that there are definite differences in more ways than one as the age gap widens. If you’re in your 50s and date somebody in their 30s, there are probably going to be very different ideas of priorities and expectations. Remember, the ideas of one person are usually age specific. You don’t expect somebody at the age of 30 to be thinking about his or her retirement plans. They are probably more interested in buying their first house or a car, even starting a family. Whereas you have probably been there, done that and have totally different ideas of what you want out of life and a relationship.With that being said it does not mean that you cannot go out on a date with somebody in his or her thirties. You can even go out with someone who is in their twenties if you choose! As long as you can remain realistic, and you are able to just enjoy the company for what it is. If the date is just a date and it’s something that works for both, then at least you are off to a good start. You should not necessarily be thinking of age, it’s more about the connection and the company. If nothing else, you may have a good time. Even better, you may just make a really good friend. So, go ahead and see if there is a friendship or more in the making between the two of you.
To get to know someone comfortably can be a long process and may take days or weeks for you to discern if there is a match or not. So brace yourself and take the ride of dating. There is always a risk and we usually prepare ourselves for the worst so that we won’t feel too disappointed if it doesn’t work out. Remember that it’s the same for both parties. Keep in mind that you will never know if you will never try.
If you have found a potential romance partner one of the main things is for you to find the “common ground” for the relationship to last. It’s very important in relationships that neither you nor the other party be forced to make important compromises in various aspects of the relationship – financial, emotional and religious aspects, among others. So when you come up against topics that you really have very different views on you need to know how important this is to you. Explore the issues to see they are not problems that are insurmountable.
The last thing that you need, is to be in a relationship where you are continually compromising your beliefs and values. No-one should be expected to give up their beliefs and values. If you think it is not possible to find common ground then maybe, you need to end the relationship before it goes too far.
No matter what you may say or try in order to save the relationship if you are not being honest and try to fake it, eventually it will lead to problems and at least resentment because you cannot be the person you really are. You have to move on physically and emotionally as soon as you discover the mismatch.
Again, it is not about the age factor. Regardless of age would-be couples need to find common interests for it is the key to a lasting relationship.
Michael Santos