Retired and Single

 

by Shirley Price

So… what’s next for You?

If you’ve been working really hard all these years, you may have been so focused with your job that you were not even thinking about a love life.  You are certainly not alone in this world of growing singles.

Re-evaluate your Life

When it comes to that time when work no longer consumes your time it’s a good time to take the opportunity to re-evaluate your life.  To know where you’re headed and what you want now that you have the time to make other choices.  What are you going to do and who are you going to be doing it with?

Do you even want a Relationship?

Many people enjoy being single, yet I believe if most are totally honest a large percentage of those singles would like to have someone to share some of life’s experiences with either on a full time or part time basis.

Set In our Ways

As we get older many of us are set in our ways and wonder if it would even be possible to live with another person. Even if we have lived with someone previously after living alone for a long time it could take a bit of getting used to. Of course finding the right person could change everything, even your mind of “never again”!

What type of relationship?

The older generation probably more than any other age group still tends to think in terms that a compatible relationship should lead to marriage.  Of course today this is not the case. In fact there are many options available for relationships.

Many that find themselves in a relationship, even a great relationship may decide not to live together. They feel that living together may actually spoil their relationship and they are happy keeping their own homes and independence.

Sharing a Home

Living together or apart both have their advantages. If you share a home with someone then the costs can also be shared and obviously this will help financially.  There are also other ways to help and support each other.

Living Alone

For those that want to live alone there are other benefits such as doing what you want to do in your own home without having to consider the needs of someone else. You can have company whenever, eat when you like, have your choice of décor and not have to share the television remote. It really depends what is important to you.

Just Friends

Some are not interested in having anything more than a friendship with someone of the opposite sex.  They like having someone to do things with, maybe a travel companion, dance partner, someone to escort them to social events and to go for dinner occasionally.

Decide what you want

If you think it’s time to re-evaluate your love life, first decide what you want out of a relationship. Do you want marriage and nothing less- friendship and nothing more-live with someone-stay in your own place but still have a relationship?  It’s important that you know this and that when you meet someone that they want the same thing.

Be on the same page

I know a couple that have been seeing each other for years. Both were previously married, both have grown kids. Right from the start he made it really clear that he had no intentions or interest in getting married again. He has never changed his mind about this.  She on the other hand wants more from this relationship and has spent years hoping that he will change his mind. She feels somewhat resentful and cheated that she has spent so many years waiting, hoping, and in the mean time possibly missing her chance of meeting a man that does want the same thing that she does.
In many ways this particular couple has had a good relationship. But her real needs haven’t been met.  So it’s also important to listen to what the other person has to say and don’t think it’s easy to change their minds because that is not always the case.

As someone that is retiring or already retired it’s also important to see what each of you have in mind for your retirement years. There is no doubt about it; no matter what age, compatibility is a key ingredient to a good relationship

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