More and more older women and younger men relationships are apparent in society today. Some older women tend to like men who are younger because they themselves often look, feel and act younger than men their age.  So often the older men are not up to doing things and going places that they want to, some find them too boring. In the same way, younger men often like older women because they are more emotionally stable and mature, which saves them from all the drama of many younger women relationships. If you are in this kind of relationship or about to get into one, you must be wondering if this kind of relationship works at all. You may be surprised because many relationships like this actually survive and thrive.

These types of relationships can happen with women in their 40s 50s or 60 plus and men in their 30, 40s and 50s it’s still older women younger men. Sometimes they just happen; there is no planning to pursue a relationship specifically with a younger man or older woman. It can happen just as it has with a lady I know of that is now in her early 70s she met a man in church, they enjoyed talking to each other, it moved on to spending evenings together going out for dinner and has become a committed relationship, he’s in his 50s and they are having a great time together.

Often the younger man in the relationship enjoys the lesser drama that they can experience with an older woman, plus mature women are often more open and honest within the relationship. The man in a relationship with an older woman often feels more confident, intellectual, passionate, young in spirit and body. A woman who is relatively older also has a more controlling tendency in physical and intellectual aspect, which younger men often find really attractive. These older women are usually confident and intellectual as well, passionate, friendly, independent, and with a zest for life. They know what they want and they know they desire a partner who appreciates and reciprocates friendship and openness in the relationship. Being in an older woman younger man relationship brings out the couple’s unique characteristics that make the whole situation work. These people don’t see age as a hindrance when dating someone.

Older women younger men relationships are getting quite popular, especially now that celebrity couples have proven that it can work, as in the case of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher who has a 16 year age difference.

If you are woman dating a younger man, you and your partner needs to be prepared for the challenges that you will encounter in your relationship, which may be more unique than the usual. It is important to keep an open mind as well, while being confident and willing to experience new things. Do not allow anyone to make you feel uncomfortable about dating a younger man. You may well receive some skepticism from some, and that they will try to make you see the down side of being in a relationship with someone younger. Follow your heart and if you are comfortable and happy to be with a younger man then everyone else should be happy for you too.

It is not surprising if you often feel doubt about your chances of having a lasting relationship with a younger man. However, you must also realize that you have many unique characteristics, which makes you more attractive and fascinating to younger men. In fact, a lot of men who are interested in older women are most likely to stay in the relationship—many of them good looking, successful younger men. Embrace your age and maturity and celebrate your own being as this is what makes you attractive to younger men in the first place.

Relationships are hard work; more so if you are in an older women younger men relationship as your needs and situation is unique. You must always remember that all relationships are different, and love doesn’t pick any age. Even same-age relationships can fail or succeed. Also remember that older men and much younger women relationships have been going on forever.

Author Shirley Price

Going through a divorce or splitting up from any long term relationship can be very traumatic, even if the relationship was a particularly bad one; it’s still a big upheaval and you are

a lonely man

left looking for answers to the many questions that you still have.  Once they are on their own many feel lonely, depressed.

It’s easy to dwell on the old relationship and wonder if it really was that bad. After the initial shock and upset the newly single often get caught up in nostalgia, what they remember as the good times in the relationship.  They forget too quickly what brought them to this crisis and point of the final separation.

As difficult as the split may be in the beginning it’s important to see the relationship for what it really was.  Once you see beyond the anger, hurt feelings, and feeling of failure it’s often a start to creating a new beginning. Often it is the feeling of failure that gets in the way of people honestly seeing things for what they really are.

If you’ve split up from your partner no matter who initiated the final blow it has happened for a reason. There had to be signs whether you are willing to admit it or not. There are reasons why this break up has happened, and even if you are somewhat shocked by the finality of the relationship, it’s important to be totally honest about the problems that brought thing to a head. As difficult as it may be staying in denial and wallowing in self pity too long will only keep you from moving forward.

No matter how bad their circumstances are coming out of the relationship many have later said that it was the best thing that could have happened.  Some come out of the relationship with nothing, losing their home and financial stability but can still say they have never felt so alive. A lot of divorced people are over 50, some are bringing up children alone and some have been divorced more than once. They do eventually recognize that the time has finally arrived when they decide to live for themselves; to make a life of their own; to live it the way they want to. Divorce is one of those things that affect people of all ages and walks of life.

Lonely Woman

Some over 50s start a new career or their own business, write a book, and manage to create an amazing life with their friends and family. They become more mature and find a freedom and contentment that they love.  Many of the break ups are with couples that did have a number of good years in their relationship before it took a different course. It is often sad to think that you have not only lost your partner but also someone that was once your best friend and confidant.

More and more couples instead of growing together they are growing apart for various reasons. The common interests and values that they had once shared can sometimes get a far apart that there is no common ground anymore.  It doesn’t mean that either party is a bad person; they have just grown into different people.

We question sometimes why is it that some people have to go through so much, and often in a short period of time?  They will suffer personal loss, ill health, unemployment

Healing a broken heart

and divorce yet still manage to bounce back and turn their life around.  These are the people with the can do attitude, these are the ones that against all odds will make a success of their life.  Sometimes it just takes a little more time and help to get to that place.

We are all sent numerous challenges throughout our lives. There will be highs and lows, tear and heartache but there will also be joy, fun and love. We need to believe in ourselves, set some goals worth having, take some chances, step outside of our comfort zone go and live life to the fullest.  Regardless of being single or in a relationship the most important relationship of all is the one we have with ourselves.

It’s time to stop hurting and time to start living

If you are still finding it difficult to come to terms with the loss of your relationship you may find the course below will have the answers that you are looking for. It has been a wonderful resource and helped many people overcome the loss of their relationship and start living again.

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There are times when something happens that really brings home to us the reality of aging. One of these times is the realization that our own parents are aging fast and becoming frail.  This is often accompanied by ill health.

Aging Parent

We don’t want to focus on getting old but unfortunately we can’t stop it from happening.  When our parents become old and start having health problems we are reminded of how time passes too quickly and that aging does not come alone.

I have just returned from a trip to the UK where I spent almost a month with my own aging and sick mother. At almost 89 years of age I was beginning to think that my mom could be one of those that may live to be 100. She has always been relatively healthy and active; at least this was so until about 3 months ago when she was diagnosed with cancer. Now things are changing fast and seeing a relatively healthy person that has always been in your life starting to fade is very difficult.

We are an aging population and it’s worth noting some of the changes that we will probably have to face ourselves one day.  Maybe if we are aware we can make some adjustments or be better prepared for when the time comes.  Having the right conversations with your children or other family members while you are still young enough can be very helpful to everyone.

Over the years as my mother has aged I have noticed many changes, and not only with my own mother but with other elderly parents of friends and family members. It doesn’t seem that long ago that my mother and her husband traveled long distances to visit me in Canada and also my brother in Florida. They would come for extended visits. Besides this they would also take other vacations. Until about a year ago they always went out three evenings a week to their local Legion where they would often have a few dances. Besides this they have also gone out for lunch 6 days a week. Saturday has been their day for lunch at home and then they would go out in the evening.

This has been the way it was for many years. While it’s less than a year ago since they stopped going out at night the lunches out have only ceased quite recently since my mother got sick.  Many of the other significant changes have been happening over a number of years.

So when did things really begin to change?

•    About 10 years ago they stopped taking long trips, so no longer came to visit.
•    Gradually they have tended to want to stay closer to home.
•    Not wanting to stay away from home over night
•    Regular afternoon naps.
•    Becoming very habitual with a lot of things
•    Dislike change.
•    Repeating conversations more and more.
•    Not so conscious of personal hygiene –not changing their clothes as often
•    Not noticing marks on their clothes
•    Things becoming too much trouble
•    Not noticing that their surroundings are becoming shabby
•    Not wanting anyone to do anything to improve their home surroundings.
•    Not seeing as well
•    Not hearing as well
•    Getting forgetful
•    Just not wanting to bother with things that once interested them.
•    Forgetting birthdays and other once important dates and events.
•    Not willing to get rid of stuff they don’t use or need.
•    Often not eating and drinking enough.

Many of these things are worrying and often frustrating for family members. We want them to be comfortable. We want them to be clean and cared for and often these are very touchy subjects. We don’t want to hurt or offend them but often they do get defensive if you say anything to them.  This is where having conversations about genuine concern  is a good idea and giving or getting permission to deal with a number of these issues in advance.  Some parents will say to their kids when I’m older tell me if I make a noise when I eat, or if I smell, or my clothes are dirty and I need to change. Often we are embarrassed for them we know that they would never have gone out with stains on their clothes.

Always be respectful, support your parents and be as kind as possible. Remember one day this may be you.

In the meantime live as healthy a life as you possibly can. Keep your mind active and give yourself the best chance of successful aging.

Once over the age of 50 many singles will feel that it’s impossible to meet that special someone. There are so many people that think this way, so they often give up on the idea of romance and stay alone. Who really wants to go into their retirement years alone? Rather than give up, if a relationship is something that you would like to have in your life; be proactive and find ways that you can meet others like you.

By the time you reach your fifties you are most likely looking for very different things in a potential partner than you may have looked for when you first started dating many years ago. This is going to particularly applies if you are looking for a serious long term relationship.

Before you even start your search it’s a good idea to know what type of relationship you would like to find.  Do you want to meet someone as a friend, or rather have a casual relationship with someone to go out with occasionally, or are you looking for a potential marriage partner?

As intimidating as the process of finding someone may seem the rewards will make it all worth it if you find a great new romance.  The over 50s group are not likely to be at night clubs or hanging around bars in the hopes of meeting their ideal partner. So where will they be? Just as you are probably looking for more depth and companionship in this new partner; you will also need to look in different places to meet them. A lot of people are going on line in the hopes of making the right connection, there’s little doubt that online dating is continuing to grow and especially in the over 50s age group.  But I have to wonder how many of the members actually go out of their way to physically meet someone.  Remember there are so many other ways of meeting people, really meeting people, not just chatting by email.

What are you interests? Joining groups and going places where there are activities going on that you are interested in is a great place to start. If you are into sports get out and get involved. Whether it’s tennis, golf, hiking, biking there are sure to be clubs or groups in your area where you will find people with similar interests. There are community centers offering all sorts of courses from cooking classes, photography and art. Also a great place to meet people and make friends is at dance lessons, especially when you sign up for a course of lessons when everyone starts off at the same time, this way you get see each other on a regular basis and learn together.

Many of the senior centers have great activities and often have good cafeterias where they have meal specials that often attract a number of people and it’s not just seniors either.  Seniors centers aren’t just there for the real elderly that go to; people meet there to play chess, cards and all sorts of activities. There are usually regular dances at the senior centers too. If you like to exercise, join a gym.
Walking is great for your health and fitness as well as for meeting people, and if you have a dog to take walking this is a great ice breaker.

There are millions of singles that want to meet that special someone to share their life with. So why aren’t they getting together?  What stops them?

When people are thinking about getting back into the dating scene, especially after the age of 50 there are a number of major things that they think about even though they may not openly discuss them with others.

When you are young the expectation is that you will meet the right partner, build a life together and grow old together. At least that’s the way it used to be. I don’t think there are many that get into a serious long term relationship with the intention of it only lasting for a few years before they move on to someone else, especially in a marriage partnership.

If you reach your 50s and things haven’t worked out the way you had planned in your relationships it’s time to consider what you do want for your future. When you consider how many singles there are, there’s probably only a small percentage of those individuals that honestly want to live their life alone, whether they admit to it or not. Especially for those that have had the experience of a good relationship even if it was short lived.

There are things that happen along the way through your life that make you hesitant to pursue a new partner, even though deep down you may want to be in another relationship. If you have spent the past 20-30 years or so building your life with someone else, to then think about creating a life with another person that you may not have even met yet, or someone that maybe a stranger to you right now is not easy. It’s very intimidating.

WHY people don’t meet.

•    They want to protect themselves from getting hurt.
•    They are concerned about how others will view them if they pursue a new relationship.
•    They worry about what others would think, especially their kids.
•    They feel inadequate and worry that they will be rejected.
•    They feel they are too old for dating–it’s just not for them
•    They worry that they are too set in their ways.
•    That distance may be a problem -if they can’t find someone right in their neighbourhood it will be too much effort
•    Different backgrounds- Kids and grand-kids, education, career etc. Can it really work?
•    Financial issues and differences –own a house/no house, possessions.
•    Health issues-various health issues and disabilities.
•    Age difference-what is appropriate.
•    Cultural difference- meeting someone from another culture
•    Finding Compatibility-Activity level, outdoors/indoors, hobbies and interests.
•    Fear of Intimacy- this is huge for many people especially as they age.
•    Family acceptance-most want someone that will accept their family too!
•    Expectations are too high or unrealistic
•    Afraid to make the first move-He’s waiting for her, she’s waiting for him.
•    They are unlovable- if they’ve lost one love maybe they are convinced that they are unlovable.
•    They have nothing to bring to a relationship
•    If it doesn’t work out they will feel even worse, and they will feel like a loser too.
•    No one will want me- but maybe they will!
•    Don’t deserve another chance-Everyone deserves to be happy.
•    Still hanging on to old baggage-haven’t got past their last relationship yet.
•    Stuck in the past and can’t move on- time to find out why not!
•    Feel guilty to be looking for someone else-often can be an issue for those widowed
•    Trust Issues- if someone has let you down badly it can be an issue for many but won’t get you what you want.
•    Not willing to be vulnerable and honest-if you can’t be vulnerable and open up how will anyone get to know the real you?
•    Making unfair comparisons with their previous partners- being stuck here is not at all helpful.
•    People have ulterior motives for meeting-this can be true but stay smart, check things out and trust your gut.
•    Can’t decide what they are looking for in a relationship-in general you need to want the same things to be in with a chance.
•    Just not willing to make any effort- finding someone and building a relationship does take effort.

So many men and women set themselves up for failure because they have unrealistic expectations toward meeting someone new. They sometimes have difficulty coming to terms with the reality that they have also aged and changed a lot over the years. Looking at yourself and seeing you as others may see you and coming to terms with the fact you are not in your youth anymore takes a bit of getting used to. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be youthful, and look and feel great whatever your age.

The problem for some is that they still want to find a new partner that looks like someone they may have found 20-30 years ago, even though they themselves have aged and changed dramatically too. This isn’t being realistic and could result in staying on your own forever or at least not finding a lasting and healthy relationship. In a perfect world everyone would like to meet someone good looking, fit, healthy, wealthy and with all the best attributes a person could possibly have, but let’s be real!

It is very common to have a man wanting to meet an attractive, slim, young woman when they themselves have a big gut, and a bald head. Not to say that this could not happen, it could and does happen, especially if the man has a lot of other things going for him, like power and influence, or lots of money. The same applies with some older women; they want to meet some young, fit, attractive guy while they may be frumpy, unfit, and not taking pride in their appearance. Again it could and does happen; there are young men looking to meet older women to be their sugar mama. The truth is; you need to be realistic with your expectations. Do you want a real person as a companion to share your life with, care for, to have good conversations, share some interests and maybe travel?  Or, are you kidding yourself and willing to just have arm candy, someone that looks good on your arm but with no depth or real interest in you as a person, but only what you can give them?

Another big issue is the financial aspect. A lot of genuine women worry that they may not be able to keep up with the tastes of the new man and what he wants to do. If the man wants to travel a lot, eat out and live extravagantly because he is well established and she is not; it will be a genuine concern for her. Some women wouldn’t hesitate in taking advantage of this situation if the man is willing, whereas many other women would find it difficult even if they are keen on the man.

When it comes to finances most women come out of a divorce or long term relationship way worse off than the men.  Men need to realize this.  When couples are together often the men are building their career and making a decent income, especially by the time they reach their late forties and fifties, while many of the women have been focused on raising their family. Consequently the women make far less income than the men and do not have the means to do as they would like. While some men are happy to share what they have with a new partner others are very resentful or may become resentful, which will result in problems down the road. It’s something you need to consider before getting too far into a new relationship.

When you look at the list of reasons above and why there are so many excuses people use to not even approach finding a new relationship; is it any wonder that there are millions of people wanting the same thing but never connecting.

The fact is, it would be much better not jumping ahead to all the reason why not, when all you need to do is go meet someone for a cup of coffee, lunch or a walk and a chat. It doesn’t have to be the big leap of jumping into a long term relationship. Take the pressure off and take things a step at a time and see what happens.

Communicating with your grand-kids when they are little is rarely a problem. Grandparents are the ones that seem to have a sunny disposition whenever they are around their grand-kids. They are the ones that are always ready to play or read a story, even if mum and dad have their attention elsewhere.

It your are fortunate enough to live near your grand-kids and have been in their lives since they came into the world they are going to be very comfortable with you. You will have probably baby sat them, changed their diaper, fed them and cuddled them when they were sick. But the inevitable happens-they grow up!

The teen years arrive and they turn into different people and as a parent of parents you will already know what it’s like to raise a teen. They don’t want to be cuddled anymore or sit on your lap. They have their own ideas of what type of gifts they like and what they like to eat. There’s no more getting what you like and what they used to be only too thrilled about.

Most of the time the teens today are tuned out to the older generation, they are plugged into an ipod, iphone, on their computer, or playing games.  Sometimes it’s just really tough to connect with them as a parent or a grandparent. The important thing is to keep the doors of communication open even if it’s a small window they need to know that you are there whenever they need to talk or just hang out in silence.

A short while ago I got a text from my granddaughter and I don’t like to text other than in situations like this with my grand-kids (it  just takes me so long). My granddaughter asked me to pick her up from school as she had a disagreement with her parents and she was mad at them. I phoned her parents and told them what was going on and picked her up from school.  We hung out together for the next 3 or 4 hours talking about all sorts, including when I was her age and how difficult it can be as a teen, but also for parents that are not sure how to handle some situations, also to keep in mind that they are doing their best.

I never lectured or said that her parents were right or wrong. I let her think about things for herself. We talked about things we would probably never have talked about if it had not been for this situation.  I was so glad that she called me and I hope that she feels comfortable enough that she wouldn’t hesitate to do so again.

Teen Grandchildren

It is tough for parents and it’s tough for the grand-kids too, so let them know that you are approachable and there for them even when they are mad at their parents.  It’s much better that they contact you; someone that loves them and has their safety and interest at heart.

We never want them to feel that they have to call or go to someone else that may not give a care or could totally take advantage of the situation. The same applies to getting a ride home late at night we want them to call us not a stranger. Even if we can’t get there to collect them ourselves we can make sure it’s someone responsible going and not some drunk behind the wheel.

•    Send them a card now and again with something funny or interesting in it.

•    Find out what their favorite music, movies and TV programs are.

•    Ask about their friends not in a snooping way but real interest.

•    As they are always use email and text to connect, send them an email or text occasionally. If you don’t know how then challenge yourself to learn.

•    We need to try to live in their world and try to figure out what makes them tick and what worries them without being intrusive.

•     Try to remember what it was like to be their age and how you felt. You maybe over 50 and it may be a long time since you were a teen but it usually comes flooding back once you start to talk about it.

Enjoy making the connection with your teen grand-kids. Be a cool grandma or grandpa!

Finding and meeting new people online is uncharted territory for many of the over 50s singles. Life over 50 is very a different today than it was for our parents not to mention our grandparents. Never in their wildest dreams would they have imagined that one day people would turn on a contraption in our homes and be chatting with people on the other side of the world within minutes. When you think of it, it is mind boggling and even a bit of a stretch for many of us over 50. The way we have made friends and found relationships in the past is changed forever.

Some people are more street smart than others when it comes to the internet and the things that you need to be aware of. Some singles have a lot of dating experience both on and off line while others that may have been in a long marriage or long term relationship are not sure what to expect. For those looking to meet new people for the first time in many years it can be very intimidating especially when you don’t know the rules.

Meeting people online has even changed over the past few years. It has become far more accepted as people of all ages are relying on the internet to meet new people for friendship, dating, business and networking. Let’s be honest when it works well its great! How else could you ever have access to so many and come in contact with people from other parts of the world other than meeting via the internet? However, it also opens the door to scams and a number of other issues that you would be far less likely to come across when meeting in more traditional ways.

While there are lots of genuine legitimate people searching profiles and making contact on singles sites, there are others that are abusing the trust of many innocent people by intentionally misleading them. Some are out and out dishonest by making out they are someone other than who they are. There are also married men and women making out that they are single, plus others that display pictures of other people making out that it’s them, it’s often a picture of an attractive and very well put together individual. Others will post old pictures of themselves from years ago. There are those that have no intentions other than getting some sort of thrill from having an online fling.

I have heard from a number of people that have arranged to meet their internet contact face to face and cannot even relate to the person they may have chatted with for weeks or months, because there is absolutely no resemblance to their profile. If someone feels deceived and uncomfortable right off the bat it’s not going to go down well.

Looks aren’t everything but being honest and upfront is. If anyone is serious about meeting someone online be honest because there may come a time when you may want to meet face to face so if you have embellished the truth, you are probably going to be reluctant to meet even though there may be genuine interest because the game will be up. If the other person is not interested in you as you re.ally are or you in them, why waste your time – move on!

Also be aware of sob stories because that happens too. There are the honest and genuine stories and we all feel sorry for someone that has gone through very difficult times, but beware; some will use a lie to tug at your heart strings. There are some individuals that will tell you how wonderful their life was until their husband or wife and child died tragically in a terrible accident or something similar. I know you will feel awful if it’s true and you discount it, but be on your guard because some of these scam artists know exactly how to get through to you to get your trust and often your personal information.When you connect with someone interesting ask lots of questions and read between the lines. Do your best to find out if the person is who and what they say they are. Also watch for the language in the messages, this is a good tell tale as there are some people sending messages from other countries other than from where they say they live and English is not their first language. These issues are especially prevalent with the free sites; these sites attract millions of people so the chances of abuse are greater. What have they got to lose? Unfortunately it’s sad but true so err on the side of caution and save yourself a lot of grief and possible embarrassment.

If you are recently out of a marriage or other relationship you may be very vulnerable so give yourself time to heal before jumping into another relationship. By all means have friends get out and have fun but anything beyond that make sure that you are totally ready for the next step. Also if you meet someone long distance, consider who’s going to relocate if the relationship develops and becomes serious where living together looks like the next step. What about family and friends and your life as it is?

It’s well known that most men don’t like writing and it usually shows -So Men please do yourself a favour if you are serious put a bit of care and effort into what you write because it can be off putting to a lot of women.

There are so many real and genuine people out there looking to connect with the right person. We are social beings and need others in our lives but be cautious and be happy.

Have you noticed those cute elderly couples that obviously adore each other? You know the ones that you ask yourself ‘How did they get so lucky”.  They will be together for the rest of their lives.  They appear to really care for each other.  They watch out for each other, they hold hands while they’re out walking or crossing the road. Nothing seems too much trouble for their spouse, and they don’t huff and puff and pull faces while they are doing it. They are genuinely happy to be there for each other and have no embarrassment about showing their affection for each other.

The question is; have they always been like this? Some may have, especially if they have no children but generally I would think that they have gone through the relationship ups and downs that most have during their life together.  Many have experienced periods where relationships may have been distanced by everyday life obligations and challenges of career and family.

Do you recall those early years in your relationship where you would do almost anything for your new love? When you first meet you spend time getting to know each other. You ask questions and listen. You want to know what the other person likes and dislikes and what they want to do. You make time for them; you want to be with them as much as possible.  You want them to be happy with you.

The romance stage often leads to marriage, family, and more responsibilities, often leading to less time for your relationship with your spouse, and less romance or maybe none at all.  Is it any wonder that the distance grows in many of these relationships? If not recognized and dealt with this can lead to the relationship breakdown and often divorce.

If you can survive those years of work, family and growing responsibility when retirement does come around it is a new opportunity to get to know each other all over again. The fact that as we age many people do mellow could be another reason why many seniors can have such great relationships in retirement.

Keep in mind that if you haven’t been used to spending a lot of time together don’t expect it to be easy. There will be an adjustment time.

Here are some tips on how to find your relationship in retirement.

•    Remember that relationships need nurturing, love, respect, patience and time.

•    Be a good listener. Really listen to your partner without interrupting. Try to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their point of view.

•    Even before retiring if the day to day chores have got in the way of the two of you spending time together; start setting some time aside now! Have a date day or night. This is a great way to start a conversation about planning your retirement together.

•    If there are aspect of your relationship that have been neglected or become an issue find ways to deal with it so that there is no discomfort between you.

•    Be totally open with each other. Secrets have a habit of driving a wedge between you. Whether it’s related to finances, health issues or family etc talk about it with your spouse.

•    Finances can be an issue at any age and retirement is no exception. You may have to do some adjustment to a changing income so set a budget together and do your best to keep to it. Irresponsible spending by a spouse can cause real problems in a relationship.

•    Compatibility is key- having common interests will go a long way to having fun together and bring you closer together to reinforce your relationship. It’s not uncommon for couples to have different interests but finding something that you can both enjoy together will strengthen your bond.

•    Don’t take life too seriously. Humour goes a long way to help lighten most situations. Share lots of laughter with your spouse, it really is uplifting and still the best medicine.

By Shirley Price

Time seems to fly by. It’s probably not too difficult to recall the moment that you brought your own child into the world. We have watched our baby grow into an adult and have a family of their own.

As parents of parents we may have been missing having our own children around full time but we get to gain so much more joy through the arrival of our grandchildren.
Although we feel the excitement of the new arrival, often we are not quite ready to be called Grandma or Grandpa. This is a new experience for us and can be a bit challenging at times as we learn our role in this new family dynamic.

Getting used to your new role

The arrival of a new grandchild will bring the memories flooding back to the times of raising our own child. And now it’s time to discover the many ways we can enjoy our grandkids

Enjoy your grandchildren

too. We may have more time to actually appreciate and enjoy our grandchildren even though on a physical level we may come up against some challenges that were not there when our own kids were small.

Unfortunately, for some families the ideal grandparent/grandchild relationship is not possible as some grandparents and grandchildren are separated by many miles and often for long periods of time when they live in different parts of the world.

Staying Over

For those of us fortunate to have our grandchildren living closer we will probably see them on a fairly regular basis. Maybe they will even come to visit on weekends and holidays. You may even end up being a caregiver for your grand-kids if both of their parents work, or maybe a part time baby sitter while their parents have a night out. It’s always a good thing if your grandchild gets used to staying with you overnight. There may come a time when it may become a necessity to have them overnight and then it’s easier on everyone.

Be prepared to be playful

It’s also a good idea to keep a toy box at your home and also have a plan for some fun activities for when they come to visit. This is a great opportunity to build your relationship and make new memories and for you to become playful yourself once more.

Finding age appropriate activities is the key. The smaller kids love to play and they usually enjoy going to the park or beach. As they get a bit older we can teach them how to play board games and various card games. And in return they can probably teach us how to play computer games. Once they get to the stage where they have a cell phone and spend most of their time talking to or texting their friends it’s a bit more difficult to get them involved in anything else but certainly worth a try.

It’s good to keep some dress-up clothes, shoes, handbags and of course some old jewelery for the little girls and they also like to help especially with baking. The boys on the other hand can be taught how to help in the garden, go fishing or fly a kite with grandpa.

Keep them occupied

Come up with ideas that will keep them occupied and entertained for a while. When they have sleep-over’s you can tell them real stories about their parent as a child and also about themselves. Kids love to hear stories about them.

Introducing books to children when they are very young is a great idea. Teach them to respect books and look after them. Show them old photo’s and teach them songs and rhymes from your own childhood. It’s surprising how many young parents today don’t know the songs and rhymes we grew up with.

Go to a group together

Most parents and grandparents have the opportunity to take the little ones to groups at their local community centers and libraries to participate in learning songs and rhymes and listening to stories with other little ones. It’s a great way to learn as well as excellent for their social skills. Get their favorite book and read it to them when they are ready for bed. Inevitably they will fall asleep before the story is finished. Your grand-kids will love it and so will you!

You stay healthy

In order for us to be able to make the most of the time with our grandchildren and participate in the many activities it’s important that we maintain a healthy lifestyle for ourselves. It’s a bonus if we are fit enough to participate in activities like hiking, swimming, playing golf, and fishing as well as being fun they will help keep us in shape to.
Grandparents are an important part of a child’s life, and as they get older they will be able look back at many fond memories of their time with their grandparents.

Enjoy your grandchildren while you can!

By Shirley Price

Don’t get me wrong I am not an advocate for divorce at any age. Nor am I an advocate of living a miserable life.  When you know there’s nothing but misery left in your relationship and you’ve done all you possibly can to try improve the problems to no avail, why prolong the misery? To divorce is a huge decision, life as you know it will change for sure. There are those that have gone through divorce several times and for others it’s so devastating that some never really get past it.

The life you want over 50

As we get older we need to be more aware of how things are really going in our own lives.  Are we happy?  Because, there comes a time when we realize if there are things we want to

Discovering what's important

change we had better get on with it.  As we age we see friends and family members having to deal with challenges they never expected. Some get sick and less mobile often forcing them to change their later life plans.

Discovering what’s important to you

Today more than ever people are getting divorced after the age of 50. They realise that they want more from life than they are getting, and it’s not materialistic things that they are looking for, it’s more than that.  By the time you reach your 50s many have had most of the things people strive for. They realise that it’s not the material things that make you happy. Some have been in unhappy marriages for many years. Some wait until the kids have left home before they decide to do anything about it.  For others it’s after they retire from their careers and suddenly find that they would be spending most of their time with this other person that they don’t even really know anymore and they decide they want out.

Relationships Take Work

I think we all want the happy ever after life and when we don’t get it we feel can feel cheated and disillusioned.  Statistics say that it usually only takes about 15 months before most couples fall out of that initial first love. With that in mind you can see why relationships take work, like anything else to thrive they need a lot of nurturing.

Our relationships affect everything.

If we are happy we will be healthier and more productive and those around us will be happier too. If we are unhappy and miserable we will be stressed and anxious and less productive and others will feel the effects. The way we function in our personal and professional lives, our moods, confidence and self esteem are all affected by the state of our relationships. And yet it is one of those skills we learn on the job just like parenting. Plus, we often take what we have experienced in our own family environment into our relationships.

True love can last a lifetime.

However for around 90 % of couples they do not feel the same about their partner or their relationship after 20 years of marriage. It is particularly sad to see marriages of 20 or 30 years come to an end.  That is a lot of history to have with one person, especially if you have children together. You’ll have experienced events with that person that you will never experience with anyone else. However, if the relationship is dead and there is nothing else to be done to revive it, then maybe it’s time to move on.

Friends First – Friends Always

In a relationship you need to be friends first and foremost because that’s what really counts in the end. And it’s important that you have some interests in common. There needs to be things that you can share and work at together. Separateness creates indifference and that usually means trouble.
Really, how well did you know your spouse when you first married?  If we were in short term relationships before we married or moved in together the chances are we really didn’t know each other very well at all.

Divorce isn’t easy

Divorce isn’t easy but neither is staying in a relationship that’s not working. Where else would we spend our lives doing something or living in a way that we know is wrong for us?
If you are divorced the one thing that seems to be common is the more time you spend alone the more you will know what you do and don’t want.  It becomes tougher to compromise.

Losing sight of what’s important

Before you make the decision to pursue divorce ask yourself, why did you get involved with this person in the first place? What was it about them that attracted you to them, it is still there somewhere? Is there any possibility that there could be more there and you have just lost sight of what’s important.  This is a really important question to answer!

Be respectful-don’t regret your actions

If divorce is inevitable then try your utmost to do it with grace. So many people get so angry that they get into horrible situations.  They lose sight of what they want and it becomes a competitive and hateful battle. The only ones that win in those situations are the lawyers. Be as respectful as possible and before battling it out in court see if you can come to some fair settlement, and use a mediator if needed. It is so sad to see couples doing everything they can to cheat and hurt the person that they once loved enough that they once chose to spend their life with.

Marriage can be wonderful when you are married to the right person!